Finding a Mentor
Often people are looking for the perfect mentor. I get asked a lot about how to find the right mentor, and who that person might be, and how to go about landing the dream mentor. So here is some generic mentor advice. It’s applicable in the professional world, in your personal world, and even in the faith world.
Step 1: Write down everything you would want in a mentor. Be as detailed as possible. If you want to meet weekly for lunch in your local town; write it down. If you want it to be a famous and well-respected person; write that down. If you want your mentor to be in a certain genre; write it down.
Step 2: Stop looking for the purple unicorn mentor. It is highly unlikely that every single one of your ideal mentor characteristics from Step 1 is available to you. Oftentimes this happens. I see this often with younger leaders who are full of passion and potential. They want someone who has “made it,” someone that has depth, someone who is mature but down to earth and relevant, and someone that is going to meet with them consistently. That’s a lot to ask of one person.
Step 3: Seek out the more tangible traits in your local community. Find someone that has some of those traits you admire (professional or not, context or not) and reach out to them. They will probably be more apt to walk with you consistently. For instance, if you would like to meet with someone once or twice a month for regular accountability, life lessons, etc.; you could probably find that in your local community, even through a church.
Step 4: Reach for the stars. Start to reach out to someone you admire that has “done it” and ask for 30 minutes once. Not 30 minutes once a month for the rest of their life. Just 20-30 minutes, once. Email them, call their office, be persistent. Do whatever it takes short of a stalking charge. Take the 30 minutes when it is given. Then at the end of the conversation, ask them if you can send them a follow up in a year. That is how these relationships begin. Wouldn’t you rather have 30 minutes a year over 20 years with someone who is an expert in their field, rather than not have anything?
The point here is to distill what it is you are looking for into 3-6 other relationships that are tangible. Finding and having multiple anchors in your life is a good thing.
In my life, I have a “Personal Board of Directors.” These are people who are at the top of their game in several aspects of life. From parenting to being a professional, and everything in between. At this point, I talk with each of them from a few times a year to a few times a month. I get to learn from some amazing people. And at this point, I am privileged to run every major decision through these six individuals. I get their individual perspectives on the topic, review the angles, and then I make a much more informed decision than if I were on my own.
So as you think about a mentor, start with the end in mind. What do you want to become? Then work backward through finding mentor relationships to help get you there. Who needs to be sitting at the table of your personal Board of Directors?
